Your peace speaks to the peace in other people. But so does your fear.
This is what one of my poems is about:
Your fear
does not scare me
My peace
speaks to the peace in you
When you’re fully present in the moment, when there’s calmness and acceptance radiating from you, people around you feel more peaceful as well. Whereas, when you’re feeling anxious, nervous or stressed out, when your mind is busy with thoughts that are drawing you away from the present moment, or when you are passing judgements on others, people around you can sense it and are affected by your state of mind. I’ve witnessed this happen countless of times.
I sometimes work as a substitute teacher at a secondary school in my hometown. I’ve never had major problems with keeping the pupils’ attention in class (it’s a nice small town school), but nevertheless, I noticed a difference in their behaviour the first time I was teaching a class after what I consider my “spiritual awakening” about a year ago. I had just started to experience what it is really like when your mind is completely silent and you just are, without any worries, fears or thoughts for that matter. When you can feel you are deep, spacious peace.
While I was teaching the classes, I was practising meditation in a way. I was observing the classroom, and if my mind began to wonder, I soon asked it to be silent again. I wasn’t using the whole time on preparing classes for the following day, planning what to do after work or thinking about what to buy from the supermarket for dinner. I was just there, present in the classroom, peacefully letting the day flow. After those couple of days of substitute work I did, I realised I hadn’t needed to report any of the pupils to the actual teacher for bad behaviour or disturbing the class.
This made me think about the time when I was a teenager myself, going to a secondary school. I had many different maths teachers during those years. One of them was a woman in her thirties. She was very calm and gentle, and I always admired her for the way she handled us pupils. She never got angry or shouted, or even raised her voice, yet most of the time everyone was listening to her when she spoke. I always thought it was because she was speaking in such a quiet voice, so that everyone had to become silent to hear what she was saying.
Around the same time in school, we also had a Finnish teacher who was in many ways like the maths teacher. She was young and kind, and her voice was more quiet than strong and loud. However, it was very rarely peaceful and silent in her classroom. The pupils went crazy during those Finnish classes – they were making noise, throwing things and even bullying the teacher.
You could easily think that the maths teacher was just a good and skilful teacher – which she was, of course – whereas the Finnish teacher had maybe chosen a wrong career and had somehow failed as a teacher. But here’s the thing: our maths classes were peaceful because the teacher was very much present in the classroom. You always got a calm, accepting and peaceful vibe from her. The energy of our Finnish teacher was different – she often came across fearful and nervous. I believe the best thing she could’ve done to improve her teaching, would’ve been some inner work to change her energy and find the state of calmness.
This is only one example to explain how your inner state and energy affect other people. I’ve also noticed that when I judge people for something in their personality or behaviour and go meet them with this fear and judgement in my heart, it’s as if my judgement was triggering this very behaviour in them. They become less calm, and suddenly all these more unconscious and nervous ways of behaving start to come up. On the other hand, if I meet them with peace and acceptance in my heart, they stay more peaceful and conscious. As if my acceptance and non-judgement was giving them space to be freely themselves.
Naturally, I notice this in myself too. When I feel judged by others, I become fearful and nervous more easily, and might even completely lose my inner peace for a while. For example, I used to have a strong belief in my mind that showing too much (sexual) interest in men was shameful of me (as a woman). So when someone was judging me for being too flirty, or misinterpreting my behaviour as being “needy” for men, it triggered the shame in me so that I suddenly became very nervous and defensive. Now that I’m aware of this belief and mind pattern, I don’t get triggered that easily anymore.
You can’t make everyone around you mindful and conscious or control their behaviour. But you can do your own inner work and choose peace even in challenging situations. Judgement, anger and harshness usually come from fear, so when people ever treat me this way – when they are making me feel inferior or less worthy – I just think: your fear does not scare me. Instead of answering to fear with my own fear, I do my best to choose peace.
With love,
Iiris Linnea
